DENVER HOMES TIPS: Divorce And Children - 10 Random During And After Divorce Tips

Divorce And Children - 10 Random During And After Divorce Tips

Divorce And Children - 10 Random During-And-After Divorce Tips

For Parents Wanting To Nurture The Healthiest Kids, Post-Divorce

 

divorce tips1. Don't shortchange your children by getting into another relationship too soon. Focus on your kids and their needs first. This is your highest priority.

2. Become involved in your children's schooling and social activities. Athletics, clubs, scouts, music, are all excellent opportunities. You'll make great friends and your kids will enjoy the participation and your support.

3. Take your children to the library often. Teach them how to prioritize their studies, and show them they can still have plenty of time to participate in all the extracurricular stuff.  In time, you'll notice positive results in their study habits and their confidence.

4. If you have the option of choosing or changing visitation-parenting time, choose some weekdays and not just weekends. This schedule will help you contribute and make deeper connections to your children insofar as their school lives are concerned.

5. Avoid the phone for communication with your ex. Use alternatives like email, perhaps. Always compose yourself before you write, and this should help lower everyone's stress, kids included.

6. At every opportunity seek more 'parenting time' with your children, even if it requires modifications to court orders. Years later, your children will appreciate that you tried to do all you could to be highly involved, and be one of their most significant role models.

7. Avoid litigation and pursue mediation whenever possible. Aggressively pursue mediation over all significant disagreements.  Do not be misled into routine or costly litigation, because both ex's and the children rarely benefit.  From personal experience, divorce attorneys will not always level with you about the cost of litigating disagreements, and the courts will often allow the attorneys to profit from your misery for as long as possible.

8. Ignore the negative things said about you by judges, lawyers, children's advocates, custody and mental health people.  These practitioners really don't know you, or understand all the needs of your children, in spite their methods and their credentials.

9. Try to take the high road in dealing with the legal system.  Do your best, but swallow your pride when you have to. The misery can be awful in the moment, but time heals everything and makes you stronger.

10. Let your kids know you are ok. They worry too.
 

These before and after tips have helped my children and I overcome a trying divorce, and make the most of our post-divorce lives. It is my hope that some of the tips may help make a difference for you and your children!

 

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Divorce And The Home

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Copyright © Michael Dagner and www.DenverHomesOnline.com. All rights reserved.  Attribution: flickr/photos/unquiet (creative commons-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-ND 2.0)

Comment balloon 13 commentsMichael Dagner • June 24 2011 11:50AM

Comments

These are great tips!   Might I add one more?   Don't stay together "For the kids".   The results can be more devastating than divorce....

Posted by Alicia Barrington, Houston Home Staging Presents Alicia Barrington (THE ORIGINAL HOUSTON HOME STAGING) over 7 years ago

Hi Tom,

That's also a good tip.  Will have to do a part II someday.  Glad you stopped by.

Posted by Michael Dagner, Your Denver Homes Realty Expert (Brokers Guild Classic) over 7 years ago

Tom... these are more than "just tips". These should be "the rules"..... divorce should have rules! And everyone involved should "just follow them"....! thanks for posting this..... my kids are grown-ups, but the divorce has still been hard on them.... (37 years married).....

Posted by TERI LINDSAY, STAGELIGHT HOME STAGING CO. over 7 years ago

Hi Teri,

A wonderful idea.  That would certainly make the process far more predictable for everyone.  Unfortunately, I don't think such "rules" would ever be implemented, or given serious thought, because its just not complicated enough, or expensive enough.  Thanks for commenting, Teri!

Posted by Michael Dagner, Your Denver Homes Realty Expert (Brokers Guild Classic) over 7 years ago

Actually, I think that once in a great while... it just might be a good idea to "stay together for the kids..." depending on the situation, of course.

Michael, your list is awesome.  Just try and imagine how "life changing" it would be if more people followed the ideas you have shared on your list.  Great post... "suggested"

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) over 7 years ago

Hi Karen,

Life certainly is situational, so you have a good point.  I appreciate the kind sentiments and the suggest.  Thank you for commenting, Karen!

Posted by Michael Dagner, Your Denver Homes Realty Expert (Brokers Guild Classic) over 7 years ago

Just stopped by to say that I

Happy Fourth of July!

Posted by Not a real person over 7 years ago

Michael -- what a great blog post -- it is obvious that it is quite heartfelt and comes from experience.  I am going to bookmark it, as one never knows when I might be able to share the advice with someone who needs it.  Thank you for your thoughtful and caring observations!

Posted by Eric Crane -- Your Full Service, Discount Fee Realtor®, Greater Metro Phoenix Arizona (DPR Realty LLC) over 7 years ago

Russel - hope you had a good one, too!

Eric - yes, I am passionate and frustrated about the crisis of children and families who struggle through divorce, who's troubles are only compounded by a system with many senseless motives. Thank you for your kind feedback!

Posted by Michael Dagner, Your Denver Homes Realty Expert (Brokers Guild Classic) over 7 years ago

Michael... comment #10 is spam.  I reported it to Active Rain already.  Do not delete it... Active Rain will track it down to the source, and then put a stop to it.  :)

Posted by Karen Anne Stone, Fort Worth Real Estate (New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County) over 7 years ago

Hi Karen,

I was about to delete.  Thanks for the tip about AR staying on top of this.  I appreciate it.

Mike

Posted by Michael Dagner, Your Denver Homes Realty Expert (Brokers Guild Classic) over 7 years ago

I have been here. I wish I had these so many years ago. Thankfully everyone is doing ok.

Posted by Robert L. Brown, Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Mic (www.mrbrownsellsgr.com) about 7 years ago

Hi Robert,

Glad your family is doing well and may you and your children have much better days ahead!  Thank you for commenting. 

Posted by Michael Dagner, Your Denver Homes Realty Expert (Brokers Guild Classic) about 7 years ago

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