Divorce And Children - 10 Random During-And-After Divorce Tips
For Parents Wanting To Nurture The Healthiest Kids, Post-Divorce
1. Don't shortchange your children by getting into another relationship too soon. Focus on your kids and their needs first. This is your highest priority.
2. Become involved in your children's schooling and social activities. Athletics, clubs, scouts, music, are all excellent opportunities. You'll make great friends and your kids will enjoy the participation and your support.
3. Take your children to the library often. Teach them how to prioritize their studies, and show them they can still have plenty of time to participate in all the extracurricular stuff. In time, you'll notice positive results in their study habits and their confidence.
4. If you have the option of choosing or changing visitation-parenting time, choose some weekdays and not just weekends. This schedule will help you contribute and make deeper connections to your children insofar as their school lives are concerned.
5. Avoid the phone for communication with your ex. Use alternatives like email, perhaps. Always compose yourself before you write, and this should help lower everyone's stress, kids included.
6. At every opportunity seek more 'parenting time' with your children, even if it requires modifications to court orders. Years later, your children will appreciate that you tried to do all you could to be highly involved, and be one of their most significant role models.
7. Avoid litigation and pursue mediation whenever possible. Aggressively pursue mediation over all significant disagreements. Do not be misled into routine or costly litigation, because both ex's and the children rarely benefit. From personal experience, divorce attorneys will not always level with you about the cost of litigating disagreements, and the courts will often allow the attorneys to profit from your misery for as long as possible.
8. Ignore the negative things said about you by judges, lawyers, children's advocates, custody and mental health people. These practitioners really don't know you, or understand all the needs of your children, in spite their methods and their credentials.
9. Try to take the high road in dealing with the legal system. Do your best, but swallow your pride when you have to. The misery can be awful in the moment, but time heals everything and makes you stronger.
10. Let your kids know you are ok. They worry too.
These before and after tips have helped my children and I overcome a trying divorce, and make the most of our post-divorce lives. It is my hope that some of the tips may help make a difference for you and your children!
Divorce And The Home
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